Choose your favourites from the juicy, refreshing self-esteem tips below. There are bound to be some that you like the look of, so please enjoy savouring them over the next few days.
1. inject new life into your day -
Pick an activity that you do most days, such as saying good morning to someone, having a shower, shopping for groceries or even going to bed at night and make a conscious decision to do it a bit differently and do it well! For instance, you could sing in the shower and finish it off with a cold dose of water all over to stimulate your senses; you could spontaneously pick up a fruit in the grocery store that you've never eaten before and give it a try; you could meditate before going to sleep. The possibilities are endless.
2. squeeze in some "YOU" time -
Putting aside a little YOU-time to nurture yourself each day can be a simple way to remind yourself that you're worth investing in. Carving out an hour from your busy day can feel like an impossible mission for most women, so what I suggest is that you incorporate quality YOU-time into your daily self-care regime. This is how it works… never brush your teeth, your hair or apply skin creams when you're thinking negative thoughts! Stop and focus on changing your mood instead. Then, when you've captured a positive thought or two, start brushing with care or take a bit of time to gently apply the cream and massage your face and body – the aim is to enjoy the moment, however brief!
3. stop procrastinating for just ten minutes –
Quite often we procrastinate because a task seems too huge and daunting to contemplate. Perhaps your desk is in a mess but the thought of sorting it out makes you feel exhausted because you know it would take hours and hours. The key: just do it for ten minutes, no more. Then see how you feel. I bet the next time you think about your messy desk, the thought will not be so scary. So ask yourself: are you procrastinating over something? If so, give this a try.
4. reach out and touch someone -
One of the best ways to feel good about yourself is to make someone else feel good first. Reach out and touch someone's heart with a small but noticeable gesture. Good examples are things like play-fighting with a child, gently touching someone's arm to show you that you care, sending eCards or giving someone a genuine compliment out of the blue. Often it's the little gestures that can mean so much.
5. learn to let go -
Most of us find ourselves clinging on to things (and people) for the wrong reasons. Are you doing that right now with someone or something? If so, why not practise letting go a little by finding something inconsequential in your home that you no longer need or like and just throwing it in the trash! Better still try recycling or resale, if you believe your items could be worth more to someone else. Just the act of letting go of something small could encourage you to let go of something more significant that is holding you back.
I practiced last week with some old cookery books that were clogging up my kitchen.
6. convert an "I can't" into an "I can" -
See if you can absorb this quote into your everyday living:
"It's better to die on your feet than live on your knees" - Pasionara
Think of at least five things that make you feel like saying "I can't". Then write them down. Here are a few common examples, just to get you started:
"I can't say THAT - they'd just laugh at me!"
"I can't buy THAT for myself - I'm not worth it!"
"I can't stand it when MY man looks at another woman!"
Once you've written them down, pluck up the courage to say "I can" to at least one of the items on your list. Say it and believe it! Life is never easy, but saying "I can't" only makes it harder. A simple change of approach could open up a whole new world of discovery.
7. meditate or try hypnosis –
Often self-esteem building does require us to learn new skills and adopt different approaches but also there is a need just to repeat positive messages, chill out and start believing in ourselves more. Meditation or hypnosis offer great supplements to the more studious eWorkbooks that we've developed for women. Why not check out one of these options now?
8. squeeze, lift and smile –
A simple act of squeezing in your tummy, raising your chin and smiling gently to yourself can be so encouraging, especially if you're having a really gloomy day. It's as if the fighting instinct kicks in and possibilities open up. Try it now for a whole minute and see how it makes you feel. If you feel a little better, remember to use this easy technique daily.
9. look forward to juicy times ahead–
Write down the following:
A positive thing that happened to me today was…
Something I am looking forward to tomorrow is…
Something I am looking forward to in the next couple of weeks is…
Something I am looking forward to in the next six months is…
10. ask yourself the question -
What change can you think of that would impact positively on your self-esteem today? Write it down. Then do it!
______________
This article has been reproduced with permission from:
www.selfesteem4women.com
Juicy | Self Esteem Tips
Simple Steps With Regard To Developing Self Esteem
Improving Self-Esteem with Individualized Positive Affirmations
Positive self-esteem is very important if not crucial to our happiness and well being as a human being. Having positive self-esteem can make the difference in that which we take on in life, in that which we go about achieving and creating. Having positive self- esteem also allows us to have healthy and joyous relationships with others, to experience true intimacy. One could also assert that having positive self-esteem gives us access to genuine spirituality. Poor self-esteem, on the other hand, creates the space for us to experience a great deal of negativity in life including depression, anxiety, fear, stress and loneliness. Negative or poor self-esteem is also highly correlated with alcohol and drug dependency. Some even believe that a negative or poor self-image is the source of such addictions.
While it appears that the importance of positive self-esteem is somewhat understood, the unanswered question has always been about how to improve or enhance a person’s self-esteem. Some belief that a person’s self-esteem rests upon them being successful, in accomplishing that which they take on in life, of achieving goals that they have set for themselves. As a result much effort is put into assisting others in effectively and efficiently planning their doing in life. Others believe that our sense of self-esteem is determined by the type of relationships that we have, that by surrounding ourselves with positive people who will appreciate and acknowledge us that our esteem will be positively impacted. To this end training is given to help a person improve his interpersonal skills, how he communicates and relates with others. While both of these endeavors are important, it is not the having or doing that creates positive self-esteem. Ones self-esteem is not given or to be obtained from without, external to the person.
One very effective way to improve self-esteem is through the use of positive affirmations. Positive affirmations are very powerful for transforming how a person feels and thinks about himself, ultimately influencing how he views and acts within the world and towards others. The fundamental reason why positive affirmations are so effective is that their nature or structure reflects what already exists in our mind. Our identity or who we think we are, our current thinking patterns, are also a series of affirmations, composed fundamentally of mere words or language. Everything we think, all of the thoughts that we have, are merely affirmations. Positive affirmations, when used consistently, begin to alter our prevalent internal language pattern, as negative as it may be, our inner self talk or dialogue that exists within us. The end result of the consistent use of positive affirmations is the transformation of an inner negative language pattern into one that is positive in nature
The most effective way to use positive affirmations is with the individual’s own voice. While a person can have a beneficial result from listening to a commercially developed product that employs positive affirmations recorded by another, the transformative power of this technology is enhanced or strengthened by the positive messages being delivered in the person’s own voice. By using a person’s own voice to transform the inner dialogue, there is less resistance to the transformational process due to the fact that the voice itself is the same or identical. It is as though the negative voice or language pattern that one hears repeatedly in life is altered or transformed by the consistent exposure and listening to that same voice but with the structure of positive enhancing affirmations. Eventually the structure will transform from one that is negative to one that is positive in nature.
The process of using ones own voice in doing work with positive affirmations can be strengthened with the use of therapeutic relaxation music. While the use of ones own voice is very powerful for creating change in a person’s life, the use of specially designed therapeutic relaxation music assists in creating the audio space for this process to be very powerful. We tend to be more open or suggestible to positive affirmations or language when we are in a state of relaxation. When combined with binaural audio tones the relaxing affect of the therapeutic relaxation music is greatly enhanced. When used with the combined effect of the therapeutic relaxation music and binaural audio tones and consistently, the positive enhancing affirmations that are delivered will have such a profound affect upon improving and transforming a person’s internal, self-talk and eventually his self-esteem.
The technology of utilizing positive affirmations that are recorded in a person’s own voice and therapeutic relaxation music is currently being employed in the treatment of those suffering from substance dependency problems. At the Holistic Addiction Treatment Program in North Miami Beach, Florida, clients are given access to this powerful technology. Clients have the ability to create personal affirmations that empower them and support their recovery and also are able to record these affirmations. The recorded positive affirmations are then mixed with specially designed therapeutic relaxation music to create a powerful audio product to assist the individual in his recovery. Once created the client is trained in the most effective manner in which to utilize their personal CD as part of their overall recovery plan. Those clients who utilize this powerful technology tend to improve their self- esteem, stay in recovery and improve the quality of their life in general. When a person feels and thinks more positively about himself he tends to be more positive towards everything that he is taking on in his life, including and most importantly his recovery.
Harry Henshaw, Ed.D., LMHC
http://www.enhancedhealing.com
Improving Self Confidence After A Breakup
Breaking up is never an easy process, especially if you never saw it coming. At this stage, it may feel easier for you to hold on to the broken pieces and memories then to move on. However, the truth is far from this.
There are many signs that you have yet to let go and start to move on. You find yourself retracing your footsteps, and every line in your fights, trying to figure out where it went wrong and what you could have done to fix it. You feel that if you could only figure out why your partner left, you would be able to convince them to come back. Worse still, is underlying all these thoughts, the implicit belief that your world is broken and will be magically fixed somehow if your partner would just step back into it.
If you have entertained any of the above thoughts, then it is a sure sign that your self confidence has hit rock bottom. In order to start healing and feeling better about yourself, you have to improve your self confidence at the same time. This is of course, easier said then done.
It is perfectly normal to want to know what went wrong, and if you were truly at fault. Sometimes it could be something that you did, but sometimes, it could simply be that your partner is no longer interested, and it is not because of anything you did or did not do. If you must think back on what happened, you owe it to yourself to figure out if you need to change your attitude, or behavior and actions. Changing these now may not bring your ex back into your life, but it will make your next relationship a lot smoother.
Give yourself time to cope with the sudden loss, and turn to your friends or family to help you adjust back to single hood. Fill in the gaps that your partner has left behind by pursuing activities that you never had time for, or did not do because your other half did not like it. Pick up a new hobby, go on a short holiday, meet new people, and do things that make you happy.
Remind yourself of your own self worth. Make a list of your accomplishments, or compliments that your friends, colleagues or superiors have ever paid you. This will help you keep in mind that you may have some habits that need changing, but so does everyone else, and that you do have many redeeming qualities. Work out some positive affirmations to help you clear your mind of negative thoughts and emotions. Let your subconscious help you with moving on.
.All these advice will help you, but you must be willing to help yourself in improving your self confidence after a breakup. Make a checklist or a plan of what you want to achieve, and how you intend to go about achieving it. Give yourself a deadline to meet, and push yourself to do the things that you have listed out. Achieving what you have listed out will help you to feel better about yourself, and give you a sense of control over what you can do in life and help keep your emotions positive.
Do not beat yourself up for grieving over the loss of a relationship, or for taking time to deal with your sorrow. However, do not allow it to keep you down indefinitely. Remember that only when you truly let go will you be able to move on and build a future with someone else. Take this alone time to work through personal issues, or do things that you have always procrastinated doing. When you have learnt to change your bad habits and accept yourself, that is when you know that you are ready to move on and meet someone new.
Breaking up is never an easy process, especially if you never saw it coming. At this stage, it may feel easier for you to hold on to the broken pieces and memories then to move on. However, the truth is far from this. There are many signs that you have yet to let go and start to move on. You find yourself retracing your footsteps, and every line in your fights, trying to figure out where it went wrong and what you could have done to fix it. You feel that if you could only...
Article Source: Self Improvement Articles from PositiveArticles.Com
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Improving Your Body Image and Self Esteem
Your positive self-esteem is your foundation for success and without it you can feel down, depressed, inferior and suffer a lack confidence in many situations. There are many factors, affirmations and lessons to help you on the way to improving self esteem. One major connection that will be discussed here is that of the connection between how an individual sees their body image and how it affects their self esteem.
Building Self Esteem - A Healthy Body Leads to a Healthy Mind
Floppy loose skin, fat deposits building up around your neck and under your chin, love handles, fat rolls under your bra line, thighs, hips, back becoming roly-poly, a protruding fat tummy! Your body image and self esteem definitely have a link as to how you see your self and no matter what compliments other people give, if you are unhappy about your image then you may not be willing to accept it…..a sure sign of low self esteem.
People come in all shapes and sizes and it's easy to say that you should be happy with what you are born with but there is no rule to say that you should adjust your body image to fit in with ‘the norm of society’…all you need to do to improve your body image and self esteem is make adjustments to the way you think about yourself and make sure you feel healthy and if that means taking exercise then all the better for you. The main point is that you feel good about yourself without the drastic measures of surgery.
Despite having said all that, the stresses and strains of the modern world place people under increasing pressure such as earning more money, looking younger, looking thinner, being a better parent and having a successful career and so on it goes means that building self esteem is no easy task. Improving how you look can definitely have a positive effect on your self esteem which will ultimately help you in your career or what ever path you choose to take. Some people handle body image very differently than others and often you will find those suffering from physical deformities may have a far higher self esteem than others who don’t.
How you choose to improve your body image is your choice. One important aspect is that you are motivated as once you start to feel the benefits then you will wonder why you never started sooner. Just the initial realisation that there is a connection between body image and self esteem is one important stepping stone to feeling better about yourself.
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Self Esteem, Negative Thinking, Hypnosis And The Brain
Do you find it hard to stay positive? Is your focus less than perfect? Do you have a head full of clutter that stops you from making real emotion-free decisions? All of us carry around unwanted thoughts and emotions but for some they are so strong and such a determining factor in their decisions that they are in control of the person's life.
If you are a person who finds it hard to get through the day without experiencing negative thoughts and emotions that cripple your ability to interact and make sound clear decisions then you know how harmful allowing these negatives to remain can be.
It is proable though that you are just an average person who is neither very positive nor very negative. You are most likely to be the type of person who feels neither good nor bad most of the time yet can get bogged down in negativity as the world and circumstances push against you.
The purpose of this article is to show you that you can eliminate these negative from your life and free your mind so that you can enjoy every moment and make decisions that are beneficial to your chosen life path without the hindrance of negative emotions and thoughts which usually guide you.
It is a great misconception amongst the majority of people that we have no control over our thoughts and emotions. They believe that negative thoughts and stressful emotions are a normal part of life. However, this could not be further from the truth.
Your brain is just like a computer. It needs software to run it and the software that it uses comes in the form of beliefs. Beliefs are just a collection of thoughts grouped together to form a picture of yourself and the world.
Some programs are hot-wired into your brain like your ability to breathe, eat, fear of unexpected noises - like a sudden loud bang - etc., however most of the programming that you have was amassed over your lifetime. There are many programs that your mind runs which are beneficial to you and keep you safe - you will automatically pull your hand away when it is placed near fire for instance. However, many of these programs are extremely negative and to the detriment of your success and happiness. For instance not wanting to try something new in case you fail may have been beneficial if you grew up around dysfunctional people who belittled your every effort but as an adult it would stop you from progressing in life and create extreme emotional responses when you are confronted with new experiences.
When you begin to identify and then remove the negative programming from your mind you will experience rewards in your life that you never dreamed were possible. In addition the freedom you experience in your own mind and body will allow you to enjoy each moment and be more present in the moment without the internal negative dialogue that has followed you around to this point.
The main reason behind negative thoughts lies in your self-esteem. Low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth lead to self doubt and fear. The key to removing all negativity from your life lies in your ability to love yourself and others unconditionally. Learning to improve your self-esteem is the one skill that you need to create success in any and all areas of your life. Disapproving of yourself and withholding self-approval is the main reason behind all your failure.
When you experience self doubt or fear you can always trace the reason back to a lack of self-worth. Re-read the last sentence then give it some real thought. Can you not see how true it is!
If you analyse all your negative thoughts and trace them back to their roots you will find that they lie in a belief that you are not good enough or unworthy in some way. By tacking the problem of negative thinking and negative emotions at their root ' low self-esteem ' you can lessen their effect at worst and totally eliminate them at best.
Begin today to forgive yourself for past mistakes and let-go of any regrets you may have. View your past as a path to the person you are today. In this way you can begin to become not only tolerant of your past but eventually you will become thankful for it. If you make a mistake in your life be gentle with yourself. Remove the habit of berating yourself. The world is filled with people who will do that for you, why should you be one them?
Practise forgiving yourself. Practise giving yourself approval ' it's just a decision. Decide now that you will no longer tolerate internal criticism. It's your mind and your thoughts and you have full control over them! Exercise that control today.
Recall all the wonderful things that you have done in life and congratulate yourself for the progress you have made. Many people don't make it as far as you have. Seek out tools to help you reprogram your mind for high self-esteem. Try hypnosis. You have been hypnotized into believing that you are unworthy of success and happiness so re-hypnotize yourself with the opposite.
When you increase your self-esteem you will find that you feel more worthy of the life you desire and you begin to see people change towards you as you project a more self-confident, self-assured and worthy person. You will also find your life begins to improve in ways you would not have thought possible. Try it, you may just be surprised!
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Source: ArticleManiac by Michael Mc Grath
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How to Be Happy
Make the rest of your life the best of your life
Make the rest of your life the best of your life. Does that make sense to you? It should because if we fail to make it better, it simply means we make it worse. Some may be tempted to say. "Wait a minute! How can I MAKE my life better? I can't wave a magic wand and make everything better. Life happens to me. I can't control what happens to me."
To which I reply, hogwash! Of course we can control what happens to us. After all, what happens to us is a result of our actions. In a word, we reap what we sow. If I eat right and exercise, guess what, I remain fit. If I eat a gallon of ice-cream every day and continually stuff my mouth with chocolate, then what? I'll grow fat, that's what! No, life is not something that happens to me, it's something I make happen by my choices.
Of course, the unexpected does happen. My house could burn down, for example. But it's what I do about it that determines whether the rest of my life gets better or worse. If my house were to burn down, I could complain about it or do something about it. If I choose to complain about it, my life grows worse. But if I choose to do something about it. if I choose to start again, I grow stronger (life grows better).
As a matter of fact, this is precisely what happened to Thomas Edison. In 1914 a fire nearly destroyed his New Jersey laboratories. Valuable records of his experiments and two million dollars worth of equipment were destroyed. Yet, as he stood in the midst of the destruction and surveyed the damage, the sixty-seven year old Edison said, "There is great value in disaster. All our mistakes are burned up. Thank God we can start anew." He chose to make the rest of his life the best of his life. You can choose to do the same.
"I don't think I can." someone told me, "You see, I'm unhappy. How can I make my life better when I'm unhappy?" When I asked him why he was unhappy, he told me he didn't know. Did you ever feel that way - unhappy without knowing why? In modern society, such a feeling is not uncommon. But there is something we can do about it. And what is that? It is a simple exercise that anyone can do and everyone can benefit from. Just follow the steps below.
1. Make a list of your ten favorite pastimes. I'm sure you've seen bumper stickers that read "I'd rather be fishing" or "I'd rather be golfing." Well, what would you rather be doing? List your ten favorite activities.
2. Now make a list of the ten things you dread doing the most. Do you hate to clean the house, do the laundry, or go to work? If so, put it on the list.
3. Next, estimate how many hours you spend every week doing each of the items on both lists. So, if you hate your job and work 40 hours a week, on your list of the things you hate to do, write "40" next to "My Job".
4. Add up the total amount of time on each list so you will know how many hours a week you spend doing what you like and doing what you don't like. Now, change those numbers into percentages. In other words, what percent of your week is spent doing what you like, and what percent is spent doing what you hate to do?
As a general rule, we can remain happy if we spend at least 25% of our time doing what we enjoy. So, if you are spending 20% or less of your time on what you like to do, you have just uncovered the cause of your unhappiness. To regain it, all you have to do is juggle your schedule to squeeze in more time for doing what you enjoy. Also, eliminate unproductive time spent on complaining. Rather than merely whining about your 'problems,' why not do something about them?
Remember, we don't have to like EVERYTHING we do to remain happy. At times we have responsibilities, obligations, and duties that need to be done, like them or not. As George Bernard Shaw (1856 ~ 1950) wrote, "Forget about likes and dislikes. They are of no consequence. Just do what must be done. This may not be happiness, but it is greatness." And to that I'll add, if we reach greatness, or simply do what needs to be done, we cannot help but be happy.
That is the paradox. We can get great pleasure in doing what we dislike. For each time we do what we should, despite not wanting to, we prove to ourselves we are in control of our lives. There is great satisfaction in that. Besides, we have to live with pain anyway, either the pain of self-discipline or the pain of regret. And the pain of regret is far greater than the pain of self-discipline.
If we wish to make the rest of our life the best of our life, we'll have to learn how to stop substituting what we want MOST for what we want NOW. In addition to setting our priorities, we also need a change of attitude. For example, many people are unhappy with their jobs and are thinking of changing them to do what they love or "follow their passion." The problem is, many of them falsely believe that their happiness and fulfillment depend on outside circumstances when they actually flow from within.
If we are not happy with ourselves, we cannot be happy with our jobs. And when we're not happy with our jobs, changing them doesn't help because we carry our discontent with us to the new job. The truth is, we can be happy anywhere, doing anything. It's a choice we make. It's as simple as deciding to do our best at all times, at all places. Once we make that decision and follow through, happiness is inevitable. And once we are happy in what we do, we become free to move on to bigger challenges, changing jobs not because we're unhappy, but because we have outgrown the previous one.
The moral is, then, find happiness in your work, or you may never find it elsewhere. Here's another tip, although hard work brings success, it does so only to a limited degree. You see, true success only comes to those who work harder on themselves than they do on their job.
In other words, you constantly need to improve yourself. Here is another way to express this rule: set high goals, not for the riches they will bring, but for the person their pursuit will make you become. For when you work toward lofty goals you become persistent, patient, powerful, tolerant, flexible, positive, and self-disciplined.
When you work on yourself, you will be prepared to handle whatever comes your way. For like H. Jackson (Jack) Brown, Jr., you will realize that "Happiness is not the absence of problems; but the ability to deal with them." Finally, two more tips on how to make the rest of your life the best of your life. First, remember that happiness is a choice and a state of mind, so if you're not happy, change your mind! Lastly, keep in mind that happiness is like a kiss -- in order to enjoy it, you have to give it to someone else.
_____________________
© Chuck Gallozzi
For more articles and contact information,
Visit http://www.personal-development.com/chuck
Will The New You In This New Year Are Your Highest Self?
Article from L. Michael Hall, Ph.D.
When it comes to self-actualization, the very term implies that we have a self to develop. It implies that there's a core you and that you, as a person, are made to develop. It implies that there are possibilities and potentials within you to unleash, to grow, to evolve, to develop so that you can become more and more you, more and more of what you can become. It implies that you are not finished.
Self-Actualization also implies that there is within you the possibility of your best self and a highest self. Now it might seem counter-intuitive, but an avowed atheist created this model! It was someone committed to the scientific model, who actually wrote a book on science (The Psychology of Science, 1966), someone who began as a Behaviorist and studied with leading Behaviorists in his time, and who launched a "third force" in psychology, who launched the Journal of Humanistic Psychology—it was that person who discovered through his studies of chimpanzees, female sexuality, and the needs that drive and motivates humans, that we have within our biology the possibility of a higher self.
For Maslow this was critically important because it meant that for science to be complete and true to the facts of human existence it must include values, peak or mystical experiences, and the experience that we call "spirituality." So surprisingly (or perhaps not so surprisingly) , this avowed atheist also wrote a book "Religion, Values, and Peak Experiences" (1964). He led out in the 1950s study human values, arguing that science inherently involves values as does education, politics and, in fact, everything human. And this is not because he believed in a God, but because he discovered that we are made with a higher self.
This higher self is biological and inherent in our nature. It emerges as a need, a higher need as we learn how to effectively and adequately gratify our lower animal needs. Both sets of needs (lower and higher) are equally valid and important because they work together as a system of drives. The lower needs create the foundation for the higher needs. And as we learn to adequately gratify the lower needs with "true satisfiers" (and not false substitutes) , the driving motivation of our lower needs go away. They disappear. And what emerges is the next level need, the next level drive. And it is in this emergence that the higher self arises.
So in self-actualizing, you learn about yourself—about your true nature. You discover your lower nature as an animal and how to cope with the lower needs of surviving (food, shelter, exchange, money, activity), safety and security (structure, order, protection), social (love, affection, bonding, connection), and self-regard (value, status, significance) . These are animal needs. All of the higher and more intelligent animals have these needs.
At the level of the lower needs, "knowing yourself" means knowing yourself in terms of these drives, what they are, how they work, what feelings they trigger inside you, how to satisfy them, how to get beyond them, etc. Regarding our lower needs, Maslow said that we need to be "good animals." That's because these needs are not bad or evil. They are just drives of our organism for living and thriving, so that we can feel good and make and effective adjustment to life as it is.
Yet these are also deficiency needs. That is, deficiency is the mechanism that drives us when we experience need at this level. We don't have enough. Enough food, enough water, shelter, sex, money, safety, structure, touch, contact, bonding, friends, regard, value, significance, etc. We lack. We are deficient of the very factors that satisfy the requirements of life. But, and this is an amazing thing, when we find a true satisfier and learn how to adequately cope with these requirements, the need goes away. At that point, we often then experience post-gratification forgetting—forgettin g how driving the need was.
At this point also that the truly human drives kick in. Each level of need is prepotent and keeps us occupied there until it is basically gratified. Once it is sufficiently satisfied then the next level emerges and with the gratification of the lower needs, the higher needs emerge. Now we need things that satisfy our best self, our highest self. And what are these things? They are the human drives for meaning, purpose, beauty, order, mathematics, justice, fairness, contribution, legacy, love, goodness, truth, honesty, aliveness, uniqueness, playfulness, completeness, etc. Maslow called these the being values (B-values) and in this Being-realm we experience B-love, B-cognition, etc.
It is at this level that you can discover and "know" your highest self. And this is where you can increasingly become more and more of who you really are. Nor is it a process that ever ends. What is the purpose of life according to Self-Actualization Psychology? It is to be and to become. It is to keep learning, growing, changing, and developing as you keep moving up higher and higher levels of the being-values and being-life. This makes life an adventure. It also keeps you young, curious, playful, and fascinated. It keeps you in the state of "continuous freshness of appreciation." It gets you thinking about collaborating, cooperating, giving, and contributing.
Neuro-Semantics is all about this— enabling ourselves and others to grow to our fullest humanness, to the greatest fulfillment and actualization of our highest potentials, to help us become the best we are capable of becoming and to becoming actually what we deeply are potentially. Welcome to the adventure!
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About the author: L. Michael Hall, Ph.D. is an entrepreneur who lives in the Rocky Mountains of western Colorado where he had a private therapy practice for many years, operated an NLP Training Center, and from where he began trainings in Meta-States and Neuro-Semantics.
Setting Your Goals
The Basics of Goal Setting
The basics of setting a goal is an open secret known by top-caliber athletes, successful businessmen and businesswomen and all types of achievers in all the different fields. The basics of setting goals give you short-term and long-term motivation and focus. They help you set focus on the acquisition of required knowledge and help you to plan and organize your resources and your time so that you can get the best out of your life.
Setting clearly defined short term and long term goals will enable you to measure your progress and achieve personal satisfaction once you have successfully met your goals. Charting your progress will also enable you to actually see the stages of completion leading to the actual realization of your goals. This eliminates the feeling of a long and pointless grind towards achieving your goal. Your self-confidence and level of competence will also improve as you will be more aware of your capabilities as you complete or achieve your goals.
The basics of goal settings will involve deciding what you really want to do with your personal life and what short term and long term goals you need to achieve it. Then you have to break down goals into the smaller and manageable targets that you must complete in your way to achieving your lifetime targets. Once you have your list waste no time in tackling your goals.
A good way to have a manageable list is to have a daily and weekly set of goals. By doing this you will be always in the position of going towards you life plan goals. Everyday will give you the opportunity to fulfill a certain goal giving you the feeling of accomplishment.
Here are some pointers that should be taken into consideration in setting goals and achieving them.
Attitude plays a very big role in setting and achieving your goals. You must ask yourself if any part of you or your mind holding you back towards completing your simplest goals? If there are any part of your behavior that is being a hindrance or puts your plans into disarray? If you do have problems in these areas then the immediate thing to do is to address this problem. Solutions may include a visit to a doctor or psychiatrist to control your emotions.
Careers are made by good time management practice. Failing in a career is often attributed to bad time management. Careers require a lot from an individual which often makes the career the life of the individual. Plan how far do you want to go into your career.
Education is key in achieving your goals. If your goals require you to have a certain kind of degree or require a certain specialization or demand a certain skill to be developed, make plans in getting the appropriate education.
Your family should never be left out of your plans. If you are just starting out then you have to decide if you want to be a parent or when you want to be a parent. You also have to know if you really would be a good parent and how well would you relate to extended family members
Personal financial situations also play a major role in achieving your goals. Have a realistic goal on how much you really want to earn. You also must be able to create plans or stages by which you will be able to reach your earning potential.
Physically gifted individuals may be able to achieve sports related goals like being in the National Basketball association or National Football League. Determining your physical capabilities should be one of your priorities. Physical limitations could however be conquered with proper planning.
As the saying goes -'All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy', or something to that effect, is by all means true down to the last the letter. Giving yourself a little pleasure: should be included into your plans.
To start achieving your lifetime goals, set a quarter of a century plan, then break it down to 5 year plans then break it down again to 1 year plans, then 6 month plans then monthly plans, then weekly, then daily.
Then create a things-to-do list for the day.
Always review your plans and prepare for contingencies.
The basics of goal settings should not be so difficult once you get to be familiar with them.
Positive Attitude | A Key Ingredient For Success
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What is a positive attitude? Being self-assured and satisfied with your inner-self is the beginning of the process. A healthy self-image radiates love and sureness and makes the people who are around you feel the same way. Having an optimistic mental state is a fundamental ingredient for attaining success in every aspect of your life. Your disposition destines how you approach your life and is reflected in your career, business ventures, sporting accomplishments and relationships.
To achieve your desires in life it is essential that you have a winner’s attitude. People that we idolize for achieving prominence would not have accomplished their desires by living their life with an impartial attitude. The crucial elements for a blessed life are accepting yourself, having the ability to visualize your success and
having the right attitude.
A positive attitude promotes an idealistic outlook on life. You will feel more cheerful, healthier and more energetic. Your trust in yourself and your abilities will be magnified and by embracing an open and positive attitude your mind will be alert to the opportunities that will start to come your way. Often when people have a negative attitude they become consummately centered on their problems and are unable to see the opportunities that are staring them in the face. Once you educate your mind to automatically adopt a positive attitude your difficulties will not be as momentous and you will be able to handle them with ease.
We are all instinctively captivated by positive people. They make us feel great about life by lifting our spirits. Both positive and negative attitudes are very infectious - choose wisely and spend your time with positive uplifting people and your character will copy the same energy. When you approach your life with a positive attitude your spirit will be encircled with a light energy which will magnetically draw people towards you.
By absolutely believing that your goals will become a reality you have within you the potential to be, do and have whatever you desire - couple this with a positive attitude and you will be unstoppable. A New York engineering Professor was quoted in 1903 as saying that it would be impossible for man to fly. The Wright Brothers piloted the world's first powered airplane two weeks later. The Wright Brothers had a definite advantage - they positively believed that their goal was achievable!
Don't let fear of failure hold you back from pursuing your dreams - trust in your dreams and espouse a positive attitude. Maybe by taking on an attitude like the Wright Brothers, and believing that anything is possible, we all will be able to soar to greater heights.
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Source: www.easyarticles.com
About the Author: Madonna Jeffries is the founder of Planet Abundance. Her mission is to provide effective self help and personal development tools that will enable you to achieve success in all areas of your life.
Watch Out for that Positive Attitude!
I'm going to begin on a positive note, and with a couple of rather bold statements.
Each and every one of us possesses a positive attitude somewhere inside us.
If you're not tapping into your positive attitude right now, and don't know where it's hiding, this article is going to help you find it! And, let me reassure you right away, I'm not simply going to twitter on about putting a brave face on adversity and smiling through the pain. Telling yourself, over and over, that "I'm OK" is pretty meaningless if you're not. I'll leave those sorts of recommendations to others, but not before I point out why they usually do more harm than good.
In my view, a positive attitude is not much use when it's applied like make-up, or like paint over a fragile eggshell. A positive attitude is something deep down inside you - in the core of your being - and it's there to be used, actively and wisely, to make your life better.
If you've looked around much on the Internet, you'll know that there is a "wealth" of advice about the power of positive thinking. But I find myself feeling compelled to enclose "wealth" in inverted commas, because a lot of it is worthless (not all of it, of course) and some of it is rubbish!
Isn't "rubbish" being a bit harsh?
I have to confess, I did reflect on whether this statement was overly aggressive. I could have been more reticent and called it "questionable" or something like that. But I wanted to convey to you my personal frustration with any philosophy that is based on an avoidance of the truth. And I wanted to get your attention, because this is a critical statement:
Pretending something isn't happening does not make your life better!
Let's look at this in a bit more detail...
Questionable advice (and a bit of rubbish!)
To clear the way for discussing a positive attitude that works, let's take a quick look at some recommended "positive thinking" that is flawed. You can find variations on each of these bullet-points all over the Internet, and you may even have heard one or two of them from your friends and others who would presume to have your best interests at heart.
- nothing is sufficiently important for you to get angry about it - just let things wash over you
- there's good in everyone if you look hard enough
- don't judge people
- always find forgiveness in your heart, no matter what the crime
- repeat positive affirmations every day and they will change your life
- don't read a newspaper or listen to the news on TV as it will only depress you
A better way (in fact, it's foolproof!)
I used to work for a man who would habitually classify people as "glass half-full" or "glass half-empty" types, according to how they would supposedly describe identical volumes of water. I'm sure you know how the "logic" runs: the person seeing a half-full glass sees an opportunity ahead, whereas the other is a defeatist who sees resources draining away to nothing. This always struck me as rather nonsensical. The truth is, you'd be perfectly correct in describing the situation either way, and the imagined vessel in the metaphor gives no clue as to whether you are likely to have more or less water in the future.
A person with a genuinely positive attitude looks beyond the "snapshot" situation, because he or she is always striving to bring the best out of whatever is going on in the real world. A genuinely positive attitude requires some understanding of a situation, so that informed choices can be made that give the best chance of a good outcome.
To have a positive attitude you first have to possess positive qualities that you can use effectively and in various ways depending on the circumstances in which you find yourself. The great news is that you already have these qualities, because they're a part of our basic human nature.
Using these qualities comes more naturally to some than others. That's partly because we're all unique and partly because our individual circumstances may have influenced (positively or negatively) our belief in our ability to affect our own lives. Certainly, if your self-esteem is low it is much harder to focus on the positive qualities that you possess, but help is at hand and that's one of the reasons I built this website!
A positive attitude can become a natural habit for you, even if you don't consider that you've ever had a positive attitude in the past. You can learn how to achieve this, not by some sort of "act of faith" like repeating a positive affirmation over and over, but by taking practical steps in the real world.
Quite simply, you need to cultivate a number of your qualities, bit by bit, day by day, and there's help at hand if you need some "how to" advice.
Here are five qualities I'd like to highlight for you. I chose these in particular because they each contribute significantly to a positive attitude and they're easy for you to remember because they all begin with a "C"!
Curiosity
Curiosity is what motivates us to find out about things, and if we find out about things we can make better decisions because those decisions have a sound foundation. Things usually become less frightening if we begin to understand them better, so allow and encourage your curiosity to let you try new approaches.
Creativity
We all have an imagination, and we can all put it to good effect in examining possible ways to bring about an improvement in our lives. If thinking about the future frightens you, it's likely that your imagination habitually looks for negative possibilities. You can re-train it to look for positives instead. Just start with some gentle experimentation, and find opportunities to say things like "I have an idea...", "what if we...", or even "erm... there must be a better way, so let's look for it together".
Courage
If we allow our fears to overwhelm our desires then we can find ourselves freezing to inactivity while mentally running away, both of which lower our confidence and diminish our self-esteem. Courage is the key to overriding those fears and living life to the full, and the more you use it the easier it gets to use it again because you accumulate evidence to suggest using your courage is the right thing to do. Living in fear is often worse than a painful consequence that may arise from taking a calculated risk. When you're used to using your courage you can actually find that the amount of pleasure you experience rises, even if you occasionally fail.
Here's a simple example: if you're so scared of a visit to the dentist that you put it off until your mouth is in agony then you might live through months of fear, apprehension and foreboding, and still end up with lots of pain at the end. Whereas, if you kept a regular dental appointment, all you'd have to endure is a little nervous anxiety on the day. Tapping into your courage is the same as tapping into a source of pleasure, so have a go today - you won't regret it.
I chose this example because I was well into my adult years here in the UK before I discovered that not all trips to the dentist needed to be painful. Actually, I don't think it was courage that was my problem, but if I had used some curiosity and creativity at an earlier age, I might have decided to try to locate a more competent dentist!
Communication
Few things can bring about positive change more quickly than good communication. If you struggle to put your own ideas and feelings into words, or you sometimes suffer from misunderstandings, then we can help. A positive attitude can be infectious, and it carries most readily through conversation. So try to find opportunities to speak with other people whom you think have a positive attitude, and you'll find it boosts your own!
Commitment
If you've got this far in this article, you've shown some commitment to making things better for yourself. Now you need to decide whether to go further and make real, sustainable improvements in your life by putting into practice what we've talked about here. Commitment can sound like a scary word, but it is actually your powerful ally. It will liberate you from feelings of self-doubt, because it will help you to bounce back, time after time on your road to improvement.
So, make some commitments now. Get off the pity-pot if you're on it, DO something actively to boost your self-esteem, and tap into that positive attitude deep down inside you by developing the core qualities I've listed above.
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Author: Alison Finch
This article has been reproduced with permission from
www.selfesteem4women.com
Motivation | The Heart Of Self Improvement
Pain may sometimes be the reason why people change. Getting flunked grades make us realize that we need to study. Debts remind us of our inability to look for a source of income. Being humiliated gives us the ‘push’ to speak up and fight for ourselves to save our face from the next embarrassments. It may be a bitter experience, a friend’s tragic story, a great movie, or an inspiring book that will help us get up and get just the right amount of motivation we need in order to improve ourselves.
With the countless negativities the world brings about, how do we keep motivated? Try on the tips I prepared from A to Z…
A - Achieve your dreams. Avoid negative people, things and places. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
B - Believe in your self, and in what you can do.
C – Consider things on every angle and aspect. Motivation comes from determination. To be able to understand life, you should feel the sun from both sides.
D – Don’t give up and don’t give in. Thomas Edison failed once, twice, more than thrice before he came up with his invention and perfected the incandescent light bulb. Make motivation as your steering wheel.
E – Enjoy. Work as if you don’t need money. Dance as if nobody’s watching. Love as if you never cried. Learn as if you’ll live forever. Motivation takes place when people are happy.
F – Family and Friends – are life’s greatest ‘F’ treasures. Don’t loose sight of them.
G – Give more than what is enough. Where does motivation and self improvement take place at work? At home? At school? When you exert extra effort in doing things.
H – Hang on to your dreams. They may dangle in there for a moment, but these little stars will be your driving force.
I – Ignore those who try to destroy you. Don’t let other people to get the best of you. Stay out of toxic people – the kind of friends who hates to hear about your success.
J – Just be yourself. The key to success is to be yourself. And the key to failure is to try to please everyone.
K – keep trying no matter how hard life may seem. When a person is motivated, eventually he sees a harsh life finally clearing out, paving the way to self improvement.
L – Learn to love your self. Now isn’t that easy?
M – Make things happen. Motivation is when your dreams are put into work clothes.
N – Never lie, cheat or steal. Always play a fair game.
O – Open your eyes. People should learn the horse attitude and horse sense. They see things in 2 ways – how they want things to be, and how they should be.
P – Practice makes perfect. Practice is about motivation. It lets us learn repertoire and ways on how can we recover from our mistakes.
Q – Quitters never win. And winners never quit. So, choose your fate – are you going to be a quitter? Or a winner?
R – Ready yourself. Motivation is also about preparation. We must hear the little voice within us telling us to get started before others will get on their feet and try to push us around. Remember, it wasn’t raining when Noah build the ark.
S – Stop procrastinating.
T – Take control of your life. Discipline or self control jives synonymously with motivation. Both are key factors in self improvement.
U – Understand others. If you know very well how to talk, you should also learn how to listen. Yearn to understand first, and to be understood the second.
V – Visualize it. Motivation without vision is like a boat on a dry land.
W – Want it more than anything. Dreaming means believing. And to believe is something that is rooted out from the roots of motivation and self improvement.
X – X Factor is what will make you different from the others. When you are motivated, you tend to put on “extras” on your life like extra time for family, extra help at work, extra care for friends, and so on.
Y – You are unique. No one in this world looks, acts, or talks like you. Value your life and existence, because you’re just going to spend it once.
Z – Zero in on your dreams and go for it!!!
A Starter Guide To Self Improvement | Build Your Self Esteem
So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.
Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?
Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.
Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme.
Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.
Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson.
Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.
Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.
Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the permission to build self esteem and improve your self.”
In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our way of thinking.
Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem, your starter guide to self improvement.